


You Wouldn't Believe Me If I Told You

by imwinningthegame



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Child Abuse, Light Bondage, M/M, Molestation, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rape/Non-con Elements, Somnophilia, Triggers, Truth Serum, Truth or Dare, not sure where this came from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2018-03-01 23:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2791388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imwinningthegame/pseuds/imwinningthegame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles was eleven years old when he first encountered true evil. What's shocking about it is that when he come into contact with it, it wasn't in the form of any supernatural creature. It was however in the form of his Fathers best friend, a deputy called Nathaniel Napier. </p><p>And then again when he was only 15 in the form of his biology teacher Adrian Harris, who of course had to become a chemistry teacher the following year.</p><p>And when he was 16 and met Gerard Argent, and a few months after he was 17 when he met Brunski.</p><p>Stiles is 17 years old when he gets kissed by his best friends father.</p><p>Stiles is 17 when his friends find out what happened to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, this is my first Teen Wolf fanfiction, although in the past I have written ones for other fandoms.
> 
> PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS! This story could be triggering for some people so please read all of the tags!
> 
> Please alert me to any and all grammar/spelling mistakes.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf

Stiles was eleven years old when he first encountered true evil. What's shocking about it is that when he come into contact with it, it wasn't in the form of any supernatural creature. It was however in the form of his Fathers best friend, a deputy called Nathaniel Napier. 

The deputy had become a solid presence in the Stilinski home in the months following the death of Stiles' mother Claudia. Napier was trusted by all of the residents of Beacon Hills, which made it so much easier for him to fall into John Stilinski's good graces, and thus become his rock after his wife's passing.

He seemed kind and helpful to anyone who did not know what to look for, who did not know how to see past the mask he wore in order to hide his true preferences. Stiles however could see past the mask, as most children are good at doing. He told his parents that he didn't like his fathers friend, unfortunately they both wrote off his worries as unimportant in the light of the future sheriffs upcoming promotion and his mothers deteriorating mental state.

It was because of this that six months past Claudia Stilinski's passing, Napier got exactly what he had been waiting for.

It was a beautiful day when 'The Incident', as Stiles had taken to calling it to himself, took place. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and a young boy stood outside saying goodbye to his best friend after a long day of playing in a sprinkler in the Stilinski's back yard. Unfortunately it would not stay that way.

When Stiles went inside after watching the McCall's drive off down the street towards their own home he was greeted with a sight that he had become used to in recent times. His father was sitting at the kitchen table beginning to poor himself a drink from a whisky bottle, and Napier was watching him closely carefully ignoring his own drink in favor of watching the towns Sheriff drink himself into a downright useless state.

As Stiles walked passed the two older men he glared fiercely at Napier, hoping that his hatred showed more than his general fear of the deputy. However, if asked Stiles thought that he could pass it off on worrying on whether or not his dad would remember to sign his field trip permission form due the following day. Luckily for him, nothing was said to him as he continued on to his bedroom.

The young boy sat alone in the blissful solitude of his bedroom for about an hour before he heard something that confused him, footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Hey kid, your dad's passed out" Napier said before he had even finished opening the door. Stiles only nodded wondering why he needed to be told about something that happened almost every day.

Napier walked further into the bedroom and Stiles sat up straighter as the deputy approached his bed.

"Do you know why your father gets drunk Stiles?" Napier asked as he sat on the edge of Stiles bed. Stiles slid backward to put more space between the two of them and shook his head.

"Well it's because of you" Napier started "He drinks because you killed your mother."

"No I didn't, She was sick. The doctor and Dad both said so." Stiles told him.

"Of course that's what they told you Stiles, they didn't want to hurt you. But I know that you can handle the truth. I know that you're old enough and mature enough to accept what you did." Napier told him.

"How did I make her sick?" Stiles asked, internally freaking out.

"That doesn't matter anymore, it's already done." Napier moved even closer to Stiles, the boy tried to move away but his back only hit the bed's headboard.

Stiles eyes began to fill with tears that he stubbornly refused to let fall as Napier began to tell him all about how it was his fault that his mom was dead, that his dad was drunk all of the time, and and that he might lose his job because of it.

Every time that he came up with another example of how awful of a child Stiles was he moved a little bit closer, until he was sitting directly in front of his bosses son with his hand on the boys leg.

Stiles didn't even notice at first, he was so focused on not crying. It wasn't until Napier's hand reached the button on his jeans that Stiles looked up at the man in front on him and stuttered out "W-what are y-you do-doing?" his big whiskey colored eyes staring into Napier's slanted blue ones.

"Now Stiles, weren't you listening?" Napier asked him, tilting his head to one side. Stiles just shook his head no again.

"Well I really should have expected that considering what a bad kid you are. Stiles you know what you did was wrong, and I know that you have no control over it, but that doesn't mean that you don't have to be punished. You're a smart kid Stiles. You always have been, and you're going into middle school next year with almost all honors classes. Really this should make sense to you." Napier said while unbuttoning Stiles's jeans.

Stiles shook his head repeating "This is wrong" over and over again, but still not fighting the man. Napier was right about one thing, Stiles was a smart kid, and logically he knew that he couldn't have made his mom sick, however his own guilt and his fear of the current situation was making it hard for him to think logically. Not to mention that Napier was about five times the size of the small eleven year old. Stiles knew that he had no chance of getting away, and with his father drunk and asleep he wouldn't hear if Stiles tried to cry for help. At the time staying still and quiet had seemed like the easiest way to avoid harm.

Napier smirked when Stiles didn't resist him in any way other than just quietly asking for him to stop as he removed the boys jeans and t-shirt. Once Stiles was only in his underwear Napier stopped for a moment to just look at him. All pale skin and slightly too long limbs, although he did wonder how often the boy actually ate, he was so skinny. That didn't matter though, Stiles was exactly his type.

As Napier reached for the waistband of Stiles's underwear, Stiles let his tears fall. He cried quietly as the deputy stripped him of his last piece of clothing and arranged his body until he was laying on his back, head turned to the side as tears slowly poured down his cheeks.

Stiles thought back to all that he had learned about distancing oneself from a situation, it had come in handy once his mother had become ill, and slowly went through the steps. He began to take slow, deep breaths. Once his tears had mainly stopped he worked on blocking out everything around him. He was easily able to block out the sounds, luckily for him Napier wasn't very talkative at the time, well aside from the occasional murmuring of the words "Beautiful" and "Perfect" as he slid his hands over the boys legs and chest. Blocking out the touches was far more difficult. Especially once Napier got to what he was obviously leading towards the entire time.

Stiles kept his breathing even as Napier put one of his hands on Stiles's thigh and the other just below his navel, but he couldn't control his racing heart beat. As hard as he tried the young boy could not distract himself from the unwanted touches being inflicted on him by a man who was both his fathers best friend and a deputy of the Beacon Hills Sheriffs Department.

When Napier's large hand finally reached Stiles's genitals it was as if a wall had been broken. The older man was suddenly done with being gentle. He wrapped his had around Stiles small penis and jerked it roughly while Stiles sobbed and begged for him to stop. He didn't.

Once the man had gotten what he had came for, which consisted of forcing an eleven year old boy to orgasm and using that to get himself off, Napier cleaned his hand off on Stiles's blanket and got up to leave the room. He stopped at the door on his way out and turned to the crying child and said

"You know that you deserved this Stiles, and by the evidence I would say that you actually liked it. Now since i'm a nice man I won't tell your father about this, can you imagine how disgusted he would be? His own son getting off with an older man, he would probably hate you Stiles." 

Napier left the room without waiting for a reply.

Stiles didn't tell his father.

***************************

Napier came for Stiles a few more times in the following weeks, but as the time went on the Sheriff began to sober up and Napier knew that he would be found out if he continued with what he was doing. 

So when the end of the school year came, and summer vacation began Napier turned in his badge and went through the process of switching stations. He was only going a few towns over, but it was far enough away for him to forget about Stiles Stilinski. Well for the most part anyways.


	2. The Second Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS!!!!!!!! This story could be triggering.

For awhile things got better for Stiles. He was able to pass off the increase in nightmares and panic attacks as belated anxiety from his mother death and no one questioned it. He went to middle school and managed to keep what happened between himself and his father’s best friend a secret from everyone around him. There would occasionally be moments when his father would look at him when speaking about Napier as if he was looking for something. If he found what he was looking for, he never said anything.

Stiles was excited when he reached the ninth grade. He thought that high school would be something different. He thought that it would be more integrated and less ruled by cliques. He thought that he would have friends aside from just Scott.

He was wrong.

Scott and Stiles were still each others only friends. Only now Scott had a job, and his dad was taking more cases. And Stiles felt more alone than he had in a long time. Since his mom died and Napier happened to be exact.

Maybe that's why he was mildly relieved the first time that Mr. Harris gave him detention, because he wouldn't have to be home alone again, but once it reached the tenth time in less than a month and Stiles had done "Absolutely nothing wrong, don't look at me like like that Scott." he was a tad bit fed up.

Stiles had trudged slowly to his biology classroom after the last bell had rung, the only bright side to his day thus far being that his jeep had started on the first try that morning.

Stiles had never been able to say that he was comfortable around his teacher. The man fidgeted to much and stared at him for too long for his presence to be considered anything close to calming, but he hadn't hated the man. In fact he liked his teaching style and thought that he graded his students fairly, though most of his classmates would disagree. In Stiles's opinion though, they just didn't study enough. 

As soon as he entered the room he sat in his usual desk and took out his homework as he waited for his teacher to arrive so that he would know what he was supposed to be doing. However when Mr. Harris did enter the room he didn't write anything on the board that Stiles would be expected to copy for an hour. Instead he just sat at his desk and looked at Stiles and Stiles did the same to him, although the look in his face was far less creepy than the older mans and far more confused.

It went on for approximately five minutes before Harris stood up and walked over to Stiles and sat in the seat in front of him.

"You're a good student Mr. Stilinski" He said to the boy.

Confused Stiles could only reply "Thank you, sir" in a tone that was almost a question.

"Which is why it's shocking that you somehow manage to be so stupid. Really though your grades are almost perfect, a few points deducted now and then for disrupting class, but aside from that..... Absolutely perfect."

"Thank you, sir" Stiles said again, choosing to ignore the minor insult and focus on the praise instead. Stiles knew that he was smart, he knew that he was a good student, amazing even, and a fast learner. 

"You're welcome Mr. Stilinski" Harris said looking a bit less tense in front of his student. "Now, I have a proposition for you. You no doubt have realized by now that I am a bit harsher when giving you detentions than the other students. You also must have wondered why it is always you. Haven't you Mr. Stilinski?" He continued looking at Stiles and waiting for an answer.

"I must admit that the thought has come to mind sir, but you said that you had a... proposition?" He said being more polite than he thought was probably necessary for the situation.

"Well it's not so much a proposition as a decision I've made that will go over more smoothly if you cooperate." Harris said with a slightly menacing smirk. And that was when Stiles got scared.

"Um what's the decision Mr. Harris?" Stiles asked in a frightened voice.

"Honestly Mr. Stilinski i'm surprised that you haven't guessed yet. I am going touch you, and you are going to let me, or I will hurt you. Do you understand?" Harris said all of this as if it was completely normal and Stiles began trembling as Harris moved slightly closer to him.

"I-I think I-I'm going to le-leave now Mr. Harris" Stiles said standing up and grabbing his bag. He had gotten three steps away before he felt a hand wrap around his wrist and pull him back painfully. 

"I really did hope that you agree to this Stilinski. I really really hoped." Harris said as he gripped tight to Stiles's arm somehow managing to sound both giddy and disappointed at the same time.

"Mr. Harris please don't do this. I can't go through this again, please don't" Stiles begged as he held back his tears.

Harris stopped for a second when he heard Stiles say the word "again". 

"Has someone touched you before Stiles?" He asked, his smile widening.

Stiles only nodded slightly and when Mr. Harris pulled him onto his lap Stiles began to cry.

"Well in that case I'll make you deal, if you let me touch you just this one time I will never try to do it again and I'm sure that you'll like this Stiles, I wont ever touch anyone who doesn't want it again. All that you have to do is not fight me, will you do that for me?" Harris said in a deceivingly gentle tone.

"You won't t-touch anyone else?" Stiles asked through his tears.

"Never again, I promise. Don't you trust me?" Harris asked, slightly mockingly at the end.

"You're trying to molest me and you want to know if I trust you?" Stiles laughed bitterly. "Well the answer is no. I don't trust you. And truthfully I don't think that I've trusted anyone since I was eleven." Stiles continued bitterly.

"Well that's rather sad Mr. Stilinski, do you ever think that you should talk to someone about your trust issues?" The teacher said while rubbing his hand along Stiles chest over his shirt.

"Yeah and tell them that I don't trust people because two adult males, who are supposed to keep children out of harm decided that it was a good idea to grope me without my consent. Yeah that would go over really well Mr. Harris." Stiles said trying to squirm out of his teachers grip.

"Yes I can see how that might be difficult Mr. Stilinski. Well in any case, are you going to give me an answer? I will continue no matter what, but as long as you cooperate after this I will never touch you or any non-consenting person again. What do you say?" Harris asked.

"I would really prefer that you didn't touch me at all sir. Also what makes you think that I won't tell my dad about this. If you remember he is the Sheriff, has been for awhile now actually." Stiles said, trying to force out his usual level of sass after being polite didn't work out for him.

"Just the fact that you were obviously too much of a coward to say anything the first time someone touched you, not to mention how much stress the Sheriff has to be under right now. With the next election coming up and that awful car accident earlier today. I sincerely doubt that you would want to pile something else onto him, would you? That would make you an awful son, then again, you probably already are." Harris whispered, his lips right against Stiles's ear.

Stiles didn't know what to say in reply, so instead of talking, he thought. He thought about his options. He wouldn't be able to get away, Harris was skinny, but he had already proven to be strong. School was over and the gym was on the other side of the building, so none of the sports teams would be able to hear him scream. He didn't really have any options, but he still needed to make a decision. It should have been easy, get touched just this time and save other kids, or be in this position god knows how many more times and protect no one.

The problem was that going with the first options would make him willing. He wouldn't be able to say that he fought if anyone ever found out. But that was already decided wasn't it? He wasn't going to let anyone find out. He didn't want anyone to know how weak he was. With this thought in mind his lifted his head and nodded.

"I'll let you touch me. I wont fight you." Stiles said in a strong voice, with not even a trace of fear. 

"Well, you really are braver than you look Mr. Stilinski" Harris said while motioning for Stiles to stand up, he did.

"Look I know that you obviously don't care but this would be a lot easier for me to get through if we could keep the talking to a minimum, okay?" Stiles said, slightly annoyed. All that he could could think about was how his teacher was going to molest him, and was still trying to keep up conversation. Well that's not all that was going through his head, but it's what he was focusing on at the time.

Mr. Harris laughed slightly and nodded at Stiles, before moving on to unbuckle and lower his jeans. He ran his hands slowly over the pale thighs and told his student to step out of his pants. Stiles listened.

It was easier to block out what was happening this time around, and Stiles went through the same steps as he did the time before. He kept he breathing calm, with slow deep breaths. He blocked out all sounds, since he was able to stop Harris from talking it was easier than he would have expected. However just like the time before it was impossible for him to block out the touches. Instead the kept his mind off of it. He thought about how he was helping other kids, about how this would be the last time he would let anyone touch him this way, about how if anyone ever tried again he would fight. He wouldn't be weak. He would be the hero his mother always told him he was.

So Stiles did as he was told. When he was asked to straddle his teacher he did. When he was told to stop squirming as he was fondled by a man twice his age, he did the best that he could. When he felt a finger probing at his anus he held back a sob and grasped the arms of the chair tightly to keep himself from trying to run. And when his teacher brought him to the edge of completion only to decide that he didn't want to go any further, Stiles could barely hide his relief.

"Stiles" Mr. Harris said once he took his hand away, "I just think that you should know, I never planned on touching anyone else after you."

Stiles stared blankly at him, and with no reason to even try to fight anymore he nodded his head and looked away. He wanted to feel betrayed, but honestly he just didn't care enough. It was over. It would never happen again. He stood up and got dressed in silence. Then he drove home, and if he walked faster than usual on the way to his jeep, well no one was there to see it. 

Stiles Stilinski didn't cry when he got home. He didn't wallow in self pity either. What he did do was take a shower, finish his homework, and prepare dinner for when his father got home. When asked about how his day was he said that it was fine and told his father about how Scott had nearly choked on his milk at lunch. 

If John Stilinski noticed anything odd about his son he didn't say anything.

If Scott McCall noticed how his best friend didn't speak out as much in biology class anymore he didn't say anything.

If anyone noticed that Stiles Stilinski flinched when Mr. Harris touched him, or how his grades never strayed below 100% in a certain class, then they never said anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than expected, but well Christmas drama. But I'm on break now so *fingers crossed* I'll be able to add the next chapter soon!
> 
> Also sorry Harris is OOC I blame not actually having enough of him in the show to be able to properly wright him.


	3. The Third Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS!!!!!

So to be completely honest Stiles didn't really believe that he would never be molested again. He figured that with the way that his luck had been going for his entire godforsaken life it was bound to happen again.

He was right.

However he did not expect it to happen in his best friends girlfriends basement in front of two tied up teenage werewolves. But well he had been relatively happy beforehand so he supposed that the universe just had to make this time even more shitty.

Stiles had been taken from the lacrosse field at the exact moment that the stadium lights went out, just after he won the game for the team.

Then he was being dragged to the parking lot and pushed into the back seat of a van.

It wasn't hard for Stiles to guess where he was being taken. With all of the wolf/hunter drama going on and himself being so solidly on the side of the wolves it made sense that the would be taken by the only other humans in the mix.

When the van pulled up in front of the Argent's home Stiles was pushed roughly out and dragged inside. He had managed to gain his footing and internally celebrate not tripping in front of his captors when he was pushed down a flight of stairs. 

The first thing that he noticed is that he was in a basement. The second was that Erica and Boyd were tied up with electrified wires. And the third was that he was in the middle of some serious crap. 

Once Stiles's mind had caught up with his body he ran over to Erica only to realize that the grunting sounds that she and Boyd had been making through their gags was them trying to warn him. The ropes that were tying them up were electrified. Fucking ELECTRIFIED, and if that wasn't bad enough it was at the exact moment that Stiles hissed in pain that Gerard Argent made his appearance.

"They were trying to warn you, it's electrified" Argent said with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"What are you doing with them?" Stiles had asked in slight horror as Erica flinched from the pain.

"At the moment, just keeping them comfortable. There's no point in torturing them, they won't give Derek up. The instinct to protect their Alpha's too strong." Gerard replied.

"Okay, so what are you doing with me? Because Scott can find me, alright? He knows my scent. It's pungent, you know? It's more like a stench. He could find me even if I was buried at the bottom of a sewer covered in fecal matter and urine." Stiles said, hoping to put Gerard off of whatever plan he had concocted. 

"You do have a knack for creating a vivid picture, Mr. Stilinski. Let me paint one of my own. Scott McCall finds his best friend bloodied and beaten to a pulp.  
How does that sound?" Gerard said, and yeah Stiles was kind of scared of the picture, but no way was he going to let the old man see that.

"I think I might prefer more of a still life or a landscape, you know? Okay what are you, 90? Look, I can probably kick your ass up and down this room. Okay." Stiles said with more confidence than he actually had. But that's what he did wasn't it? Act tough and hide everything else until he was on it his own. It was a good system, it worked.

That was when he got punched in the face, by a man probably more than five times his age, and he went down. Then without anytime to even acknowledge what had happened he was hit again, and again, and again with just about no time at all in between until he couldn't see straight. 

By that point Erica and Boyd had used up any strength that they had left trying to break their bindings to help him, so much so that the room had actually begun to smell a bit like burning flesh.

Gerard looked over at them and then back at Stiles, laughing slightly.

"Well, who knew that the puppies would be so protective of a human?" He said as if it was the funniest thing that he had heard that past week. The others in the room didn't see any humor in it. Actually Erica and Boyd just got angrier, and Stiles wasn't really able to think much of anything with his head feeling as fuzzy as it did.

"If that made them mad I wonder how they'll feel when we get to rest of my plan Stiles. I bet you they'll be positively seething!" Gerard said again. He walked over to the werewolves in the room and took the gags out of their mouths. The relief that they felt at being a little less hopeless was obvious to anyone, even Stiles who was nearly passed out on the ground, kept awake only by the intense pounding in his head.

Gerard walked over to Stiles and leaned down in order to remove the boys belt, only pausing to wrap it around Stiles's hands in order to keep him from fighting. Then he immediately went about unbuckling Stiles's pants. 

He probably would have have continued without a break, but he stopped at the sound of Erica's broken voice.

"What are you going to do to him? He doesn't have anything to do with this?" She said trying to sound angry, though it sounded more defeated than anything.

"Like I said girl, you two won’t give away anything concerning your Alpha. This one however," he said looking back down at Stiles's still form "this one doesn't have the same restraints as you do. He's less likely to be stopped by loyalty." With that said Gerard went about pulling down Stiles's pants in one motion, not caring about aggravating his injuries.

"Stop." Boyd said with all of the conviction that he could muster at the moment. "He wont tell you anything, there's no point to hurting him." 

"And why do you sound so sure?" Gerard asked the large teen.

"It's Stiles. He’s loyal to a fault. He might not really get along with or like Derek but he still won’t say anything that he thought could hurt him or Scott." Boyd said hoping that it would be enough to stop what he feared was coming.

"Well, that's where you're wrong. Everyone has a breaking point, even Stiles." Gerard said with a note of finality. He ignored everything else that his captives said as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Stiles's boxers and pulled them off, even less gently than he had with the pants.

That was when Stiles's mind began to clear and he started to realize what was happening. His breathing got faster and his mind flashed quickly through the memories of the two other times that something like this had happened. This time though, he thought it was worse.

This time, other people were there to witness it. It wasn't just him and his abuser. Even worse or possibly better, it was Erica and Boyd. Two people who he had never really spoken to, two people who he had practically no connection with aside from Scott and Derek. But did that make it better or worse? Was it better that he didn't really know them? That way they probably wouldn't go around telling Scott or his Dad about it. But it also meant that people who he didn't know well were watching him go through something insanely traumatic, and maybe that made it worse.

Stiles didn't have much time to ponder though as Gerard moved his hand to grip his penis tightly. Surprised Stiles struggled to move from under the man and aimed kicks at him as he went. Gerard only positioned himself so that Stiles's legs were trapped underneath of him. Stiles wasn't done though.

As soon as Gerard looked away from him Stiles swung his tied up arms as far as he could and just managed to hit the top of Gerard's head. Instead of having the desired effect of stopping the old man, it just made him angry. 

He got off of Stiles and grabbed handcuffs that were stored in a cabinet not far away from where Stiles was laying on the ground. He fastened one of the cuffs onto the belt he had wrapped Stiles arms in and dragged Stiles nearly naked form over to a large table and connected the other end of the handcuffs to the table leg.

He then got back into his earlier position and ignored the blood that had surfaced from the cuts that Stiles had gained from being pulled across a concrete floor. He wasted no time in gripping Stiles again, tighter than before, and roughly jerking him off.

Stiles yelped and tried to move away again, it didn't work. All that he succeeded in doing was hitting his head on the table he was connected to. Gerard laughed at him and stood up only to grab Stiles's legs and lift them up and fold them onto Stiles's chest, all the while ignoring Stiles attempts to kick him and Erica and Boyd's cries for him to stop what he was doing.

He then took off his own belt and used it to tie Stiles's legs in place. Once he was happy with what he had done, instead of undoing his own pants like the rest of the rooms occupants were expecting he sat down criss cross style and sighed.

"Now that we are properly situated Stiles I have a question for you. Your friends don't think that you'll answer me. They think that you're too loyal, luckily for you my question does not have to relate to Derek at all." He said with a grandfatherly smile. "Who killed my daughter?"

As much as he wouldn't want to admit it the question shocked Stiles. He had been expecting something more like "Where is the Alphas secret lair?" evidently though he had miscalculated what exactly the man wanted in general. As Derek hadn't been the one to kill Kate, Stiles saw no harm in answering honestly.

"Derek didn't kill her, it was his uncle Peter." Stiles said with so much honesty in his voice that it was shocking that Gerard had decided not to believe him. 

"Oh Stiles, I hoped it wouldn't have to come to this" He said as he began Stiles's ass hole with a leather glove covered finger.

"I'm telling the truth!" Stiles nearly screamed, his voice thick with fear as he felt the older man touch him.

"No you're not!" Gerard screamed at him, shocking the rooms occupants who hadn't heard the man raise his voice before. "Peter Hale is a vegetable, and has been since he came out of a coma!" He said harshly.

That was when he shoved his finger into Stiles with no preparation and Stiles screamed. Erica and Boyd screamed too, but in outrage that this man would do such a thing to a teenager, to Stiles.

"You were supposed to be the smart one Stiles. You were supposed to be smart enough to tell me the truth. It didn't have to be this way. You brought this on yourself boy!" Gerard shouted the last line and Stiles began to cry, hard.

Gerard went about thrusting his finger in and out of Stiles, and just when he was about to add a second finger his phone rang. He removed himself from the boy roughly and took off his glove before answering his phone. 

When the call finished he acted rather giddy and untied Stiles's arms and legs. He threw the boy his clothing and waited as Stiles quickly pulled his clothes back on, flinching as Gerard stepped closer to him. When the man just motioned for Stiles to go up the stairs Stiles took a few steps before turning and looking at Erica and Boyd who were still strung up.

"I'm not leaving without them." Stiles said even as he flinched again when Gerard came close to him.

"I have no doubt that my son will release them when he gets home. Now you can come up the stairs willingly or we can go back to what we were doing a minute ago. Which would you rather do Stiles?" Gerard asked as he moved to put his glove back on.

Stiles paled as he looked at him, but he refused to move until almost in unison Erica and Boyd yelled at him to leave. He hesitated for only a minute before going up the stairs ahead of Gerard.

"They really weren't wrong about you being loyal were they?" Gerard asked with a slight cough at the end.

"No, no they really weren't." Stiles said as he glanced back down the staircase his eyes full of worry.

Gerard didn't say anything else until he pushed Stiles into the same car as before and told a hunter to take him back to the school. The hunter nodded and moved to get into the front seat of the car. Then Gerard lent through the cars open window and said "If you say anything about what happened you can say goodbye to your best friend Mr. Stilinski."

Stiles nodded his head to show that he understood and hoped to god that Erica and Boyd would be okay.

When he was dropped off at the school the hunter asked him if he was okay, and Stiles couldn't help but notice how the man seemed so guilty looking at the bruises on Stiles’s face. Not wanting to make really anyone feel bad at that point he said that he would be fine and the man smiled slightly.

Getting out of the car was painful as his ass throbbed from the incident in the Argent's basement, walking to his jeep was even worse. Finding the keys to the car sitting on the hood of the car and his backpack next to the door was creepy. Getting inside of it and driving home, well that was relaxing.

Lying to his father about what had happened was hard, because at that moment all he wanted to do was tell his father about everything and cry. He couldn't do that though, not when he thought about the pack, and what Gerard said would happen to Scott. So instead he lied to his father, and when Lydia came over yeah he lashed out at her a bit. Though with all that had happened he felt that he was justified in that. When she started to cry he took care of her. 

That’s what he did wasn't it? He took care of things, he solved problems. So when realized that they needed to help the pack, he did that. And if he felt a sick sort of relief at seeing Gerard spewing black goo well the guy was creepy. They were all happy about it on some level. 

If Stiles went home at the absolute earliest possible moment, and didn't talk to anyone for a few days, then everyone was too wrapped up in their own lives and no one commented on it.


	4. The Fourth Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i'm sorry that this is kind of late, and definitely the worst chapter so far. Yeah I just have some personal issues with somnophilia so it made this chapter really hard to write, but this was the only way that I could picture this going down so I wrote it.
> 
> As always HEAD THE WARNINGS

In hindsight it might have been a bad idea for Stiles to try to break into the basement at Eichen House. 

He had good reason though, well good enough. Really if you realized that the basement of the nut house that you checked yourself into was the same as the one that you saw in your creepy as fuck sleepwalking dream you would want to check it out too. Don't even try to lie.

So that's exactly what he had planned to do. After practically blackmailing Malia and only really having to mention it to Oliver in order to get them on board of course.

They came up a plan, an activity that Oliver was surprisingly helpful with to Stiles's relief. They staged a fight between Oliver and Malia so that Brunski would have to intervene and brake them up. Then Malia would be able to steal his set of keys and pass them off to Stiles and all would be well.

Well it would have been if it had worked.

The fighting part of the plan had gone off without a hitch, it was the actual getting into the basement that posed a problem. Turned out that in spite of popular rumors Brunski did not have a key to every room in the building. In fact, no one had a key to the basement.

So as Stiles had been searching frantically searching for the proper key Brunski came up right behind him and caught him red handed.

Stiles was manhandled into the so called "quiet room" and injected with haldol, a sedative. Even as he struggled and begged to not be forced asleep he was ignored.

As he was laid on the floor of the small room he watched the orderlies leave the room. However as luck would have it, he had none, and Brunski came back after directing his co-workers back to their duties. He stood still by the door for a few minutes, just staring at the pale boy stretched out on the floor. The kid was snoring like it was the first time he slept in weeks, and judging by the bags under his eyes Brunski doubted that his guess was very far off.

Once he had gotten his fill of just looking at Stiles he moved forward and knelt down beside him, stroking his finger down Stiles's cheekbone and then caressing his cheek. That was the way that Brunski liked his patients the best, calm and unable to hurt anyone, including themselves. 

You could probably say that he had an obsession. He was obsessed with unstable teenagers. He liked the ones like Stiles the best. The ones who so obviously wanted to help everyone except themselves, who were willing to let themselves fall apart if it helped the people that they cared about. The sarcasm was just a plus.

Brunski had a system when he found the patients that he liked. The first thing to do was to figure out just how messed up they were, then he deduced whether or not he would be able to do what he wanted with them while they were awake, then he did what he wanted.

Figuring out Stiles was easy. The kid's issues were obvious insomnia, anxiety, and many others. It was also clear to see that Stiles wanted nothing to do with Brunski, so he did what he did what he always did when he knew he didn't stand a chance with the patient being awake. He found a reason to put them to sleep.

The orderly turned Stiles over so that he was lying completely on his stomach and lifted his hips up so that he could tug his pants down and off of his   
long legs. He then did the same with the boys underwear. Then he tossed both garments to the other side of the room.

Not willing to waste anymore time in case the haldol wore off, it lasts different times for different people, Brunski quickly settled himself between Stiles's legs and pulled his ass cheeks apart. He wasted a minute just looking at Stiles and rubbing his rectum before he pulled a tube of vaseline out of his pants pocket to begin working the child open.

Brunski knew the Vaseline wasn't the most recommended option for lube, but it was the easiest for him to hide on his person so he went with it. He covered one finger in the lube and ran it along the young boys rectum until he felt that it was safe to push it in. After that he choose to speed up the process. He covered his finger in more vaseline and worked Stiles open until he could take two fingers, he continued the process until he had four fingers inside of his patient. Usually at that point he would have to stop and wait for a few minutes to ensure that his victim didn't wake up, that time though he didn't have to bother with it, Stiles was dead to the world.

After withdrawing his fingers Brunski lowered his own pants in order to release his hard penis and pulled a condom onto it. He tried to be gentle as he pushed himself into the seventeen year old underneath of him, but it was hard. Stiles was hot and tight around him and he was already so close to finishing just from stretching the boy open. With that in mind he thought that a few quick thrust would be okay, and he would be done sooner than if he went slow. So that's what he did and after only three thrust he was done.

He came into his condom and pulled slowly out of the still sleeping boy beneath him.

Brunski didn't spend too much time on cleaning Stiles up, he just used a washcloth that he carried in his pocket and wiped off the boys anus, not caring too much about the make shift lube left inside of him.

After quickly redressing Stiles's sleeping form Brunski left the room and went about his duties as if nothing had happened.

**************************

About ten minutes later Stiles woke up to Malia Shaking him and saying his name over and over again. He didn't notice that anything was wrong until he stood up and felt a slight ache and a squishing feeling in his rectum.

For a second he was confused, but then Malia had looked at him and said "Stiles, why are your pants on backwards?" Then he felt like he needed to puke and so he did.

He put off any worries that Malia had by saying that he had been feeling sick for awhile, and that he was probably just too tired in the morning to pay much attention to whether or not his clothes were on correctly. She let it go easily enough.

That didn't stop Stiles from wanting to crawl into a ball and cry, and if he only did anything with Malia as a distraction from the storm going on in his head then could you really blame him?


	5. The Last Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Happy Valentines Day!!!! Please don't hate me.....
> 
>  
> 
> As always please heed all warnings!
> 
> Oh and if you want to hear my excuses for taking so long to upload then just go ahead and read the end notes.
> 
> Also this was almost 5 pages on google docs so don't tell me it's too short.

It was a pack night, well sort of. The pack was at Scotts house trying to decide on a game to play. Scott had called it “Pack Bonding”, he wanted them all to get along and work together. Stiles thought that it was a wasted effort.

He could see no universe in which their ragtag group would work together as flawlessly as the Alpha seemed to be hoping for. Lydia thought that Kira, while nice was trying too hard to become her new best friend. Kira felt that Liam was too young to be getting into danger. Liam thought that Malia was sort of scary. Malia had trouble tolerating anyone who wasn’t Stiles, and Stiles wasn’t even sure if he liked Malia in that way. 

However Scott was having none of it. He was determined to have everyone be “good friends or we’ll never work together well Stiles!”. He had even tried to invite Derek to the get together but he declined with a simple “No.” and an annoyed expression which was practically all eyebrows.

So there they were, six teenagers sitting in a circle on Scotts bedroom floor with a stack of board games and such in the middle. Most of them wanted to play Cards Against Humanity, but Lydia thought that it was crass and didn’t trust them not to put together incredibly offensive combinations. Malia had scoffed at her and went on a rant about how it was supposedly the point of the game. They had been leading into a major argument when they all heard the front door slam shut. They listened to the loud sounds of a person fumbling around down the stairs for a few minutes before Liam wrinkled his nose and looked at Scott confused and asked “What’s that smell?”

Scott paused for a second before answering while looking kind of pissed off and said “It’s alcohol.”

The alpha had stood up and was halfway to the door before Stiles stood up and ran in front of him to block the door.

“Move Stiles” Scott had nearly growled out at his friend, and Stiles looking completely unconcerned at his best friends tone shook his head.

“What are you going to do Scott? Are you going to go down there and start yelling at him? That won’t solve anything, you know it won’t.” Stiles said.

“He promised he was done Stiles. He said that we wouldn’t have to worry about him coming home drunk and messing up the house like he used to. I have to go talk to him.” Scott replied anxiously, thinking about the possibility of torn down curtains and how mad his mom would be if anything like that happened.

“I know he promised, but yelling at him isn't going to do any good. Trust me, you know i’m right about this, and if you want to stop him from screwing up the living room then let me go talk to him okay? There’s far less chance of him getting mad if he’s not faced with someone who's mad at him.” Stiles almost pleaded his friend, wanting to avoid anything ruining Scotts night.

It took a few moments of Scott searching Stiles’ face, making sure that he wanted to go before he nodded his head at his friend and went to sit back down.

“If he gets pissy you have to come right back upstairs, I’ll be listening.” Scott warned him.

“Oh don’t worry about me, and don’t listen in. Just play the game.” Stiles said as he moved the stack of games, leaving only Cards Against Humanity in the circle, noticing how Lydia didn’t even argue in light of the situation. He did however glare slightly at Malias smug expression before leaving the room and heading down the staircase.

It didn’t take him long to find Scotts father, there were only so many rooms on the bottom floor, and Stiles knew from experience that drunks usually went straight to the kitchen to try to get another drink.

Agent McCall was leaning against the counter, shakily pouring himself a shot of whisky when Stiles found him. His tie was undone and his hair was a mess, he looked sort of like a zombie if Stiles was being honest, and it took him ten seconds of just staring at his drink before he noticed that he was no longer alone in the room. Even then he seemed a bit confused as to who was with him.

Stiles walked toward him slowly, non threateningly, from what he could tell it worked. Agent McCall didn’t lash out or start looking angry, he just downed his shot and looked Stiles up and down as if trying to determine who he was.

“Hey Mr. McCall, how are you doing? It’s just a bit late to be drinking, do you agree?” Stiles asked in as pleasant a voice as he could manage. 

“I’m fine” He slurred, his words almost blurring together. “I just needed a drink, now I feel good. I feel really really good.” He continued in the same sort of blurry voice, only then there was something else added to it, something that Stiles wished he didn’t know how to describe.

“That’s great Agent” Stiles said walking over to the man slowly and gripping his arm loosely. “But don’t you think you would feel even better if you went to bed? Just think about it, a large warm bed all to yourself. It sounds nice doesn’t it?” Stiles asked him carefully leading him away from the kitchen and into the hallway.

“No, I don’t want to go to sleep, I want to do something else.” McCall said almost petulantly.

“Well what is it that you want to do?” Stiles questioned, even though he had a pretty strong feeling that he already knew the answer.

“I can’t tell you that, not supposed to talk about things like that in public.” McCall replied his words still very slurred.

“If you can’t tell me what you want to do than you have to go to be Agent McCall, that’s how things work.” Stiles said, wishing that the man would just be cooperative.

“Why?” The man asked him, sounding like a child. Stiles sighed loudly before answering him.

“Because it just is.” He said getting a bit fed up with the older man.

Agent McCall stayed quiet for the rest of the short walk to his room, but as soon as Stiles had begun to leave he seemed to snap out of his thoughts.

“Don’t leave.” He demanded, as Stiles neared the door. “Stay with me.”

“That’s really not something that i’m okay with doing Agent.” Stiles admitted, seeming uncomfortable.

“Why not? It’ll be fun.” McCall said sounding very sure of himself.

“I could give you a very long list of reasons as to why I don’t want to, and why it wouldn’t be fun. Though the simplest one is that I don’t you.” Stiles said in a strong voice as he turned to leave again.

He didn’t get very far.

Before he had even come close to reaching the door Mr. McCall had grabbed him and shoved him up against the wall. He didn’t say anything as he positioned Stiles so that his back was pressed against the wall next to the door.

Stiles opened his mouth to demand that he be let go but he hadn’t even gotten the first syllable out before his best friends fathers lips were on his own and there was tongue shoved inside of his mouth.

Stiles was lucky that the man hurting him was drunk this time, because while he was still strong, he was considerably more sloppy. After more than two minutes of being forcibly kissed Stiles finally managed to get his hands onto the older man's chest and shove him backwards, hard.

 

To his credit the Agent didn’t fall, in fact he seemed to realize what he had been doing as he blinked a couple of times and stared into the eyes of the teenage boy standing before him. Holding a hand over his mouth, McCall stepped back until the backs of his knees hit the bed and he sat down shaking his head.

“Stiles, I-I am so so sorry. I’m not sure what happened.” The man said, remorse filling his voice.

“You were drunk.” Stiles said feigning calm “You didn’t mean to do it.”

“That doesn’t make it okay Stiles. Look i’m going to leave, just don’t anyone about this.” McCall said standing up and wobbling slightly.

“Don’t leave, you’re still drunk. It’s not safe, just go to sleep. I’m going to back upstairs and we can forget that this ever happened okay?” Stiles asked, and the man by the bed nodded sitting down again.

Stiles left the room and walked back up to Scott's bedroom. His friends were all sitting together in a circle, actually looking happy while they played the game. Lydia didn't even seem to mind the combinations that came out. When Stiles rejoined them in his seat next to Scott he bumped their shoulders together and forced a smile, conveying that the deed had been done, and Scott's father was safe and sound in his bed.

If the wolves and coyote heard what happened then they didn’t say anything.

Actually, the only one who seemed to notice anything off about Stiles was Lydia, who stared maybe just a bit too long at Stiles’ swollen lips with a contemplating look on her face. It’s just a good thing that over the years Stiles has learned how to act like he was okay and no one said anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So sorry for taking so long but I have some really good reasons okay?  
> 1\. I had major writers block  
> 2\. I had tests in all of my classes for like a week  
> 3\. My sister is coming to visit and we had to work out details and such  
> 4\. I had a ton of homework  
> 5\. I got sick, like really sick  
> 6\. And lastly, while walking to school on Monday I slipped on ice and slammed my head onto the concrete and yesterday was the first day that I have been able to think at all clearly.


	6. Lydia Is Observant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there's way less of a need for a warning in this chapter but as always HEED THE WARNINGS!!!!!!!
> 
> Also I think this is the worst chapter that I've ever written so, sorry about that.

Lydia Martin was well known in the town of Beacon Hills for being just as smart as she was beautiful. So naturally she noticed what others didn’t, sometimes even more so than her supernatural friends.  
With this in mind it probably isn’t too shocking that she was the only person to notice when Stiles Stilinski started acting differently after the night when they saved Jackson. He got a bit more quiet, impulsive, he flinched more, and maybe the most interesting was that he didn’t pursue her quite as much as he had before.  
It wasn’t as if Lydia had expected Stiles to follow her around forever, it was just that it had happened so suddenly and with the other changes that he had exhibited she couldn’t help but be worried about him. She had thought about asking him about it a few times, but had believed that if there was anything wrong then he would have spoken to Scott about it. She was wrong.  
However when it came to the so called “Pack Night” she found that she had no choice but to confront him.  
Everything had been going fine until Scotts father had come back to the house drunk. Stiles being the protective friend that he had always been had of course decided that he just couldn’t allow Scott to go and put his own father to bed. In all reality it was probably a smart move, however that does not change the fact that Lydia wished he would have chosen differently.  
Most of the pack had guessed by that point that something serious had gone down with Scott’s father before he left, though most of them didn’t suspect any sort of abuse, Lydia was smart enough to do exactly that. So when Scott let Stiles leave the room she couldn’t help but to glare at him. Scott was a werewolf, and an alpha at that. He was fully capable of healing and defending himself, Stiles wasn’t. No matter which way you look at it Stiles had been put into unnecessary danger again and no one aside from herself even batted an eyelash.  
When Stiles came back upstairs with swollen lips and looking distinctly disturbed she knew that she couldn’t hold off any longer, She and Stiles were going to have a long talk and she was going to find out exactly what was going on with her friend.  
She waited until school the next week to make her move.  
Lydia and Stiles had a lot of classes together, with Beacon Hills High School being relatively small and both of them being smarter than their group of friends it wasn’t exactly surprising. What was surprising though was how hard it was to get him alone. He always seemed to be talking to someone, usually the teachers. In another circumstance she would have just pulled him away and demanded that he talk to her, but something inside of Lydia told her that this conversation was not going to be for the faint of heart and even she wasn’t going to roughly embark on something delicate.  
She wasn’t able to catch up with him alone until school had ended and he was getting into his jeep, she managed to open the door right as he had turned on the engine.  
“Oh hey, Lydia” Stiles had said when he saw her sliding into the passenger seat of his jeep.  
“Stiles I think that we need to talk, are you busy?” She had asked, trying to sound calming.  
“Umm I have some homework and then i’m making dinner for me and my dad, but you could join us if you want?” He replied turning it into a question at the end.  
“It’s really more of a private talk that I have in mind, could you push back your work for awhile?” Lydia asked sounding more serious than she had bothered to before.  
“Yeah I guess that’s fine, it’s not really a lot.” He had replied.  
He drove them to his house and then led her upstairs to his bedroom and after putting down his bag sat in his desk chair and motioned her to his bed. After kicking off her heels Lydia sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him for a moment, just studying his face, before starting to talk.  
“Okay Stiles so i need you to be honest with me, something’s going on with you, has been for awhile actually. I started noticing it after you helped me save Jackson and it got better for a little bit but it’s getting worse again. I know that something happened with Scott's dad and I would really appreciate it if you would tell me what happened.” She said while staring directly in his eyes.  
“I-I don’t really know what you’re talking about Lyd. I’m fine, i’m perfect actually. Nothings wrong it’s really like i’ve never been better. Well that’s unless you count my 8th birthday party, that was a good day, we had a clown.” Stiles said, clearly trying to change the subject.  
“Stiles you just went on a minute long ramble, and even I know that you do that best when you’re nervous, so talk to me. Please just tell me the truth, i’m trying to help you.” Lydia said almost pleadingly.  
“Lyds I promise that i’m fine okay, maybe some bad things have happened to me in my life but I’m okay. I’m over them.” Stiles said.  
Lydia just sighed before standing up and beginning to walk around Stiles’ bedroom. She noticed the large amount of posters on the walls before thinking of something that might tell her exactly what she needed to know.  
“Stiles. what’s your favorite song?” She asked, startling the boy who had wandered off into his own mind while she looked at his stuff.  
“Never Too Late, by Three Days Grace. Why?” Stiles asked confused at the sudden question.  
“They say that a person’s favorite song can tell you more about them than they ever will. Yours is a song about struggling not to commit suicide, with a music video focusing around a rape victim whose parents didn’t notice anything.” Lydia said sounding like she knew a lot about the subject.  
“I guess, how do you know that? I didn’t think you listened to that kind of music.” Stiles said slightly uncomfortably.  
“I don’t usually, but I wrote a paper for AP Psychology about mental disorders and obviously depression and it’s common causes came up.” Lydia told him.  
It was quiet for a few minutes before Lydia spoke again.  
“Stiles, I know that I might seem pushy but i’m worried about you. You’re my friend and I really just want to help you. If you won’t tell me what’s wrong could you at least tell me how I can help?” Lydia begged almost crying.  
“Why do you even care? Huh Lydia? You ignored me for years! You didn’t even notice me until Scott became popular, so tell me why does what I have been forced to go through matter to you!?” Stiles yelled at her all of the anger that he had been feeling for years finally coming forward.  
Lydia didn’t answer him, she just pulled up his shirt sleeves and nodded slightly when she didn’t see any scars.  
“What you think i’m hurting myself now!? Really Lydia i’m not that far gone yet! I have been through absolute hell but i’m not going to risk messing up and dying! Do you have any idea what that would do to my dad!? I’m an awful person but i’m not going to put him through that!” Stiles went off again and felt even angrier when Lydia wasn’t any more affected by his anger.  
“Why do you think you’re an awful person?” Was all that she said before letting go of his arms.  
“What?” Stiles asked her, anger still in his voice.  
“You said that you’re an awful person, why do you think that?” She asked, looking in his eyes like she was searching for the truth.  
“I didn’t really mean that, i’m just angry Lyd.” Stiles told her.  
“Being angry is like being drunk, you mean what you say even if you didn’t realize it before.” She said in a quiet tone of voice. Stiles completely deflated upon hearing that. There was a person who was worried about him, who legitimately wanted to make sure that he was okay and he was yelling at her.  
“Hey Lydia, what’s your favorite song?” Stiles asked her.  
“It changes a lot honestly, I don’t really like to stick with one thing.” She told him.  
“Well, what is it right now?” Stiles asked.  
“It would have to be… Teen Idle, by Marina and the Diamonds.” Lydia said slightly hesitantly.  
“A song about wanting to go back in time and change yourself. That doesn’t sound like the Lydia Martin that I know.”  
“Yeah well, you don’t seem suicidal and yet you like a song about death and rape.” Lydia said with a questioning tone.  
Stiles didn’t say anything for a long while. He didn’t know what to say to her that would satisfy her curiosity. He couldn’t very well tell her what actually happened to him, why he likes that song. He wasn’t suicidal though, he wouldn’t leave his father alone. The guilt would be too much. Basically he didn’t want her to believe something that wasn’t actually true, but he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to tell her the entire truth. Maybe he could just tell her a little of what had happened? So that’s exactly what he did.  
“It’s not the death part that makes it important to me.” He said in a whisper.  
The room was quiet while Lydia thought of how to respond. Surly Stiles didn’t mean what it sounded like, did he? He had always seemed so pure and untouched somehow, like nothing could touch him, well at least up until the nogitsune had happened. After that he was haunted, but that was understandable.  
“Stiles are you saying that you were…..” She trailed off, not wanting to say it aloud and be wrong about what he had been implying.  
“S-sort of, umm well when I was kid this guy he umm he….. t-touched me. I was just a kid Lydia and it was only a few months after my mom died. I couldn’t do anything, I swear I couldn’t, it’s not my fault. He was so much bigger than me, I mean he worked with my dad. I couldn’t fight off an adult.” Stiles was rambling and crying as he struggled to explain what had happened.  
“Stiles, oh my god of course it’s not your fault. I know that. You didn’t do anything wrong trust me.” Lydia said pulling Stiles into a hug and crying with him.  
Neither of them spoke until their tears had stopped coming, and it was then that Lydia realised what wasn’t quite right.  
“Stiles you said that you were a kid when that happened, but I didn’t notice any changes until after Jackson……. I’m sorry I really hate to ask it but did something else happen?” She asked, almost regretting it when Stiles just nodded his head against her shoulder where he was resting.  
“Can we not talk about it? Please, this was enough for one night.” Stiles asked tiredly.  
“Yeah Stiles we can wait to talk about it.” She said and Stiles nodded again before laying down on his bed and quickly falling asleep.  
Lydia moved to Stiles’ desk and finished his homework for him before pulling his blanket up over him. She then put her shoes back on and grabbed her bag before turning out the light and leaving Stiles to sleep.  
As she walked outside she remembered that Stiles had driven her, and her car was still out the school. So instead of walking home she just texted her mom that she was staying at a friends house, and then went back into the Stilinski’s living room and promptly fell asleep on the couch.  
The last thought that passed through her mind before falling into a peaceful oblivion was that she was going to do everything in her power to help Stiles through this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, i'm really super duper sorry about the wait! And the chapter quality. This month has just been really busy. Like my sister came to visit, and I turned 17, and I've had like a million test/quizzes, and I got asked to prom so I've been trying to find a dress and it's really hard. So yeah i'm sorry.
> 
> Also super sorry that Lydia is so ooc!
> 
> And as always please tell me about any mistakes made in the chapter!


	7. Forcing The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know that it's been a while, and that this isn't really my best work. I'm Sorry! I'm afraid that I can't give you any good reasons, just that some stuff happened that made it really hard for me to write this chapter. But It's here and i'm back and i'm going to try my best to get the chapters up more quickly, and to not take a break again.  
> As always HEED THE WARNINGS!

No one expected the day to take the turn that it had, but as the past had proved you really couldn’t have a normal day in Beacon Hills, especially if you surround yourself with supernatural creatures. So as cliche as it sounds the day had started off as utterly bland as any Friday could in the life of Stiles Stilinski.

School that day had been a breeze and he was excited for that night's lacrosse game. The team won of course and that only made Stiles and his friends happier, so happy in fact that he quickly agreed to another pack night even after the events of the one before it.

Lydia was unable to attend unfortunately, as she had left for the weekend to visit a college a few hours south of Beacon Hills. It didn’t occur to Stiles that that could be a problem for him until Kira had suggested a game of truth or dare. In most cases Stiles loved the game, a chance to laugh with your friends and make each other look like idiots. It was great, until it wasn’t.

It started out harmlessly enough, the pack sat down in a circle in the McCall’s living room and stupid but fun questions and dares took place. There were things like “Who was your first kiss?” and “I dare you to run around the house in your underwear.” they were cute in a way and they were fun and no one had any reason to lie, which was great because in a room with two werewolves and a werecoyote you would never get away with it.

Stiles hadn’t even worried about having to lie for a question because all of his friends thought that he had his first time with Malia and Scott mentioned earlier in the game that Stiles’s first kiss had been with Heather, so none of them had a reason to ask him anything within that general line of thoughts.

It was just past midnight when that changed though, and all because Scott didn’t want to admit that he really really liked boy bands. Malia had just called him out on lying when Kira really suddenly got a very excited look on her face.

“I have the perfect idea.” she had said to the group and then got up to rummage through her bag. “Deaton gave this to me a while ago, he said that was cleaning out his supplies and found it in the back of a cupboard. He completely forgot that he had it, so when I showed up looking for Scott he gave it to me and told me to use it carefully.” she continued and when she turned around she had a small vial about the size of her palm in her hand.

“What is it?” Malia was the first to ask with the others nodding along.

“It’s a truth serum! You take a few drops and then you can’t lie, if you try then you just end up talking in a roundabout sort of way until you admit to something else. I tried it after he gave it to me, it really works.” Kira replied.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea Kira, some things are secret for a reason.” Stiles said as he thought about everything that he didn’t want his friends to know about him.

“No I think it could be a really good thing for us, sometimes it seems like there is still tension in the pack and telling each other the truth about things could change that.” Scott said looking around at everyone as he spoke.

“If this is supposed to be good for the pack then shouldn’t we wait until Lydia’s here? That way she can be a part of it?” Liam asked glancing at Scott.

“Lydia would never go for this, she would think of it as an invasion of privacy, besides I have nothing to hide, I like this idea.” Malia joined in taking Kira’s side.

“Great now it’s three against two, we win.” Kira said as she took the cap off of the vial. and took a small drink before passing it to Scott, then him to Malia. Liam glanced at Stiles as it was handed to him with a helpless look on his face and Stiles looked back at him with the same expression, if only a little bit more desperate. After Liam took a drink and handed the vial to Stiles he looked at all of their faces pleading with his eyes in the vain hopes that one of them would take it away from him. None of them did and eventually the stern looks became too much and Stiles sighed resigning himself to his fate before drinking a bit of the clear liquid. 

He didn’t feel particularly different but as soon as Kira had asked the pack what their favorite colours were he immediately found himself self saying “Blue” without even thinking about it. It felt like he had no control over his mouth and it was terrifying.

“Weird.” Malia said and everyone else nodded along in agreement.

“Do you guys really want to do this, like couldn’t we just watch a movie? I have all of the Transformers movies at home, I can go get them and it will be a lot more fun I bet.” Stiles said wanting more than anything that someone would take him up on the offer. Liam looked like he wanted to, but with one glance at Scott who seemed beyond happy with playing truth or dare, he kept his mouth shut.

“No, come on Stiles this’ll be great. We can learn so much more about each other.” Scott said excitedly.

“I think we already know quite a bit.” He whispered to himself, the rest of the group ignored him.

Stiles could see that there was no way out without everyone asking him why, and then they would find out everything anyways, so instead of arguing again he just reclined backwards slightly where he was sitting and tried to brace himself for their reactions.

“Okay so Liam, do you have a crush on anyone?” Kira asked smiling at the young boy.  
“Nope” Liam said, and smiled just a bit as he watched her face fall. Why did everyone always go for that question? Without really thinking about it he turned to Malia and asked “Malia, how far have you and Stiles gone?” before quickly shooting a sorry look at Stiles.

“Not that far.” She replied and sent Stiles a glare.

“Wait really? I thought you guys had….” Scott trailed off looking between the teens in question.

“Not for lack of trying.” Malia said before turning to Stiles and asking “Why don’t you ever want to have sex with me?”

Stiles froze before he began to shake, trying to come up with an answer that wasn’t technically a lie. After a few minutes he couldn’t stop himself from opening his mouth and the words began to flow from his lips. 

“I just don’t like sex, it’s weird and you’re naked and you’re touching each other where you don’t need to be touched. Kissing is mostly okay, but then everyone want’s to start taking their clothes off when they really don’t need to. You can just keep your clothes on and like make out on a couch, as long as no one's drunk. If anyone’s drunk then you shouldn’t kiss at all. You should just stay away from each other. Actually no one should ever be drunk. Once you get drunk you forget about things and you trust the wrong people and before anyone knows what’s happening a little boy is being molested by a police officer because his father couldn’t deal with his own grief. Of course it can’t stop there ‘cause the kid doesn’t even really understand what happened! All that he knows is that it’s wrong, and when it happens again he doesn’t know how to stop it, and it just keeps fucking happening! And then he gets raped and he can’t even remember it happening because he was drugged and nothing makes sense at all after that. And sex just sucks guys. It’s shit and I hate it so fucking much.” 

Stiles let out a long breath at the end of his speech before realizing what he had said. When he did he opened his mouth again, hoping that more words would come out and be able to erase everything that he had just said, but instead all that came out was a sob. He had been hiding what had happened for so long and in the course of three measly weeks everything had been found out. First he told Lydia, then he just had to give in to what Scott wanted, like he always had, and take the truth serum. They all knew, and that thought is what caused him to finally break down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah it kind of sucked, but it's here and it's the best that I can do at the moment!


	8. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the warnings exist for a reason.

It felt like drowning, only worse because he couldn’t take a breath and feel the peace that comes with it. There were hands on his shoulders, and he could hear someone calling to him. It didn’t matter though, because he couldn’t breathe, there was no air, his eyes were watering. Was he crying yet? He couldn’t be sure. No one knew what to do, this was supposed to be fun, this wasn’t meant to happen. He was choking, crying, the air was being sucked away from him, and all that he wanted to do was BREATHE. The panic was pushing down onto him, a heavy weight on his chest stole his focus away from breathing. The weight was surrounding him and he could only barely register that someone was shaking him. 

There was a rushing sound filling his ears, like when you’re speeding down a tunnel at night and the cars around you are going even faster than your own. He wanted to get out but he didn’t know how. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t stop crying. He couldn’t do anything. He never could, he was helpless, worthless, he deserved it-

“STILES” That was Scott, he knew that voice. It was commanding, he tried to listen to it but it was so hard. “LISTEN TO ME! You need to breathe, you need to calm down.” Stiles felt someone, probably Scott, grab his hand and put it against their heart. “Feel that Stiles? Breathe with me, come on. In and out, in and out, in and out…..” He kept repeating the same instructions, and slowly Stiles began to calm down. He could hear around the now slight buzzing in his ears, and the weight lifted off of his chest.

Eventually, his eyes focused on his best friend sitting in front of him. He looked so worried, staring at Stiles with big puppy dog eyes, clouded slightly with tears.

“Hey Stiles, you okay?” He asked quietly, like he was talking to a small child. Stiles could only nod shakily as he continued to get his breathing under control. He became aware of the eyes on him when Liam coughed a bit, interrupting the silence. 

“Stiles, what was that about?” Scott asked him, still quietly, still like he was afraid Stiles would start panicking again.

“Maybe we shouldn’t ask him any questions right now? He still has the serum in his system.” Kira said to Scott, she had tears drying on her cheeks and a scared look in her dark eyes. It didn’t matter though, because the question had already been asked and the words were already starting to come out.

“Exactly what I said Scott, someone always gets hurt, I always get hurt. It’s not like I could stop it, I mean I was only eleven. How is an eleven year old supposed to fight off an adult? Or a teacher who threatens him, or someone so much stronger than him when his friends are in danger, or anyone when he’s unconscious, or even just his friend’s drunk father? How are you supposed to fight off anyone when everyone is bigger and stronger than you are? When you have to protect others? That’s all i’m good for anyways right? Protecting others no matter what happens to me, getting kidnapped, tortured, used as bait. It doesn’t matter what happens to me as long as everyone else comes out okay right?” He chuckled darkly at the end before looking at the wide eyes around the room. 

Kira and Liam were crying silently, Malia looked confused but that was normal for her. Scott though, he was angry. His eyes were like fire and the look of rage on his face would have made even Peter nervous.

“Who was it?” Scott growled out. Stiles flinched back at the rough sound but tried not to say anything. “WHO WAS IT?!” Scott yelled at him. Stiles curled into himself more and shook his head.  
“Please stop asking me questions, please, please, please….” He kept asking, just to avoid actually answering. It was getting harder to hold back though, the names kept rushing through his mind. He felt like he would choke on his words as they kept coming out. Please. Please. Please.

“What’s your favorite food?” He heard Liam ask him. He was so confused that the words spilled out before he even thought about it. “Curly Fries.” He replied to the blond boy. Liam nodded his head, he already knew that.

“Okay, now no one ask him anymore questions. Especially you Scott, can’t you see how terrified he is right now?” Liam said to the room. Scott looked slightly ashamed after being scolded by his beta, but he was beginning to calm down. It was clear that Scott wanted to argue, but one look at Liam's hard eyes, and Stiles scared, tear filled ones stopped him. 

When it became clear that no one was going to challenge Liam’s order Stiles stood up and left the room, headed outside. He sat in the backyard and began crying into his arms. He didn’t want anyone to know, and now almost everyone did. Would they make him tell his dad, would they tell anyone? Were they going to make him tell them who did it? Could he even tell them? No, he couldn’t tell Scott about his dad. They were just starting to fix their relationship, he wouldn’t let himself be the reason Scott lost his dad again. And what would they say about Harris? He was a teacher, he could have hurt more students and it would have been entirely Stiles’ fault for not telling on him. He couldn’t do it, he wouldn’t do it and they couldn’t make him. 

Except they could, as was just proven. Even without the serum Scott was still his alpha and could force him if he really wanted to. Would he do that? Would he actually force Stiles to tell them when he had been keeping these secrets for years? He didn’t want to believe that he would, but he knew that Scott could be harsh. He wasn’t always the sweet puppy that people saw him as, years fighting in this town had hardened him and when he really wanted something….. Well Stiles didn’t want to think about what his friend was capable of.

Inside the house he could hear them talking quietly, it sounded a bit like they were arguing but from his place outside he couldn’t make out any words. Only hushed whispers that came out too fast, and too close together to be a normal conversation. Stiles wiped his face clear of the tears drying on it and walked back inside. He’d be damned if he hid away while they talked about him behind his back.He stood at the doorway shaking a bit with his arms crossed. Everyone turned to look at him, guilty expressions on their faces.

“Want to watch a movie?” He asked, trying to seem unaffected. It didn’t work, but no one commented on it.

“Yeah,” Scott said “That sounds like a good idea.”

Kira grabbed a dvd and put it in, some action movie that he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to. He was sitting by himself trying to avoid touching anyone, or thinking about that night’s events. They would have to talk about it at some point, probably sooner than he would like. All of this happened sooner than he would like though, and wasn’t that just the story of his life? Some day soon they would sit him down and ask him their questions. His only hope was that Lydia would be there to rein them in if they got too forceful in their desperation. 

***  
The next morning dawned bright and Stiles was in the same place he sat down in the night before, not having fallen asleep like the rooms other occupants. He was awake when Mrs. McCall came home from working the night shift at the hospital and offered to make her coffee. He knew how she liked it from years of sleeping over, with two cups in hand they sat at the table together in comfortable silence. 

They hadn’t always gotten along, when he was a kid she was like a second mom to him, but when he and Scott began to enter their teen years it was clear that she started to see him as a bad influence. She was always kind of course, she would never be rude to him not after taking care of him alter his mom died. She had seen the changes in him and reacted accordingly, being more strict when the situation called for it. When the supernatural infiltrated their lives however, they fell back onto common ground. 

“Are you okay Stiles?” She asked him quietly, not wanting to wake up the kids in the other room.   
“Not really.” He answered, not wanting to lie to her. “I don’t really want to talk about it though….” He trailed off, hoping that she would leave it be. She nodded her head and laid her soft hand on top of his rough one.

“I’ll be here when you do.” She told him before finishing her coffee and heading upstairs. Stiles heard the shower turn on and put his head down on the table. He stayed in that position until his friends started to wake up and trail past him into the kitchen looking for food.

He would have to talk about it some day, his friends would demand answers, and he would give them. He would tell them everything that he could remember and they would cry together, but that was a worry for another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi? Okay, so it's been nearly a year and you deserve some sort of explanation. The best that I can give you is that somethings happened to me that made it really hard to write this story,combine that with writers block and hatred over some of these chapters and you have a 10 month wait. I'm sorry it's taken so long and maybe this isn't what you all wanted from the story but it's what I can give you right now. I have two more chapters planned out and I can't tell you when they'll be up but this isn't the end. 
> 
> In any case I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Leave me a review below :)


	9. Chapter 9

When it came to it, Mrs McCall was the first person he explained everything to. Right from his mother's death and up to her ex husband kissing him in a dark bedroom, the mans breath reeking of alcohol. He shut down her apologies, her attempts to blame herself for what had happened. She might not have believed him, but she didn’t try again. Melissa was with him when he told his father. She took his gun in the beginning and made it clear that he had to stay calm, or he would only make it worse for Stiles, that Stiles was the priority, not his anger.

The pack came after, all sworn to silence until he had finished his story, Melissa and his dad on either side of him for support. Lydia across the room, sending him strength through her reassuring smiles. It was hard, especially when those with less control would flash their eyes in anger, making him lose his train of thought and stutter over his words. 

So what if they didn’t all agree? If his father and best friend wanted him to seek justice? Stiles knew that there was no point, he had no evidence. Napier was far away, Gerard was god knows where, Brunski was dead as door nail, and Agent McCall felt bad enough as it was. Stiles would be fine as long as he could feel safe for once in his life, and he almost did.

The days following were awkward at best, traumatic at worst, and all together unforgettable. Well, maybe that was a bit of a stretch, there were moments that had branded themselves into the packs minds. Scenes so harsh that they would forever burn bright as when they happened. Others were already fading, melting into the pool of memories not so important as to stay at the forefront of their minds. Lydia screaming at the pack for taking away Stiles right to choose was one that could never leave them. Same as Stiles breaking down as he watched his father blame himself for what his only son had gone through. Derek had to be held back from searching far and wide for those he held accountable for his pack mates pain.

Less clear, were the times spent calming Stiles from panic attacks that seemed to be coming more fast and fierce than ever. The thoughts he had tried so hard to push to the back of his subconscious had been forced out front and center. He couldn’t hide from them anymore, not with everyone poking and prodding at him. Asking question after question when all he wanted was to move on, leave everything be and go back to pretending that nothing ever happened and that he was okay.

It wasn’t all bad of course, there were times when he felt better knowing that his friends and family still cared about him. It wasn’t easy to let go of his fears, truthfully he never would. He could still hear voices in his head telling him that he was worthless, pathetic, disgusting, unlovable. He tried to ignore them, to drown them out with that of those who he loved. The people who pulled him into tight hugs, slept next to him after a nightmare, talked him off of the edge and kept reminding him of how special he was. He didn’t believe them, but god did it help.

So maybe he was a burden, maybe he was making life harder on those around him. They didn’t seem to care. They pushed him to leave the house, to go to school, to interact with the world that had always been so cruel to him, and they made it better. 

They were all dealing as best as they could. Malia tried to help but didn’t seem quite capable of understanding or sympathizing with how he felt. She didn’t get it and that was okay, she didn’t need to to show how she cared. Stiles wasn’t sure if they were even a couple anymore, but he knew that she loved him as best as she could. That was good enough.

He was loved, by his father, his friends, his pack. He was apart of a group that would never let him leave. He belonged to a group of people who shouldn’t have fit together as well as they did but still made it work. That’s what mattered. It’s what he needed. Stiles Stilinski would never go into the dark as long as he was with this pack, his pack.

He would never be healed, that much was clear, but he wasn't broken. Stiles Stilinski was strong. He knew he could survive, and that’s exactly what he was going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this is the end. I also haven't updated in a year tomorrow. Overall i'm satisfied with the ending, especially since the story ended up going a different way than I had planned.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this, thank you for reading.


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